Disclaimer: This blog is not an attempt to change the way you think, I am not that good enough.
As I am growing old with my horizon expanding I am being exposed to a new school of thought about love which I would like to call as ‘Love by Matrix’. Though many of us are not aware of it but somewhere it is running in parallel with our good old ‘Love by Chance’ philosophy. And I certainly don’t think that it can surpass our conventional way of approaching love but I do feel that we have a strong contender in our hand given that we still live in a Caste & religion driven, economically divided and deeply narrow minded society.
I am assuming here that 99 percent of the people who are happily in love think marriage as the ultimate destination, so that they can live with the person whom they love for the rest of their life. Fair enough!!
For rest of the 1 percent it is more of an experience although I haven’t met even a single happy ‘Dedicated’ couple who just want to end their relationship only at love.
Let’s talk about our conventional approach towards love. In which two people meet, they interact, they get attracted and finally they fall in love. Simple, familiar, uncomplicated!! This is the way we fall in love in our life sometime ones, sometime twice, sometime many times!!
But the real problem starts when you try to convert this relationship of yours into marriage. ‘She doesn’t belong to our caste, how dare you’ or ‘Do you have any idea how much your monthly expense is and how much that guy earns’ or ‘What will happen to your sister/cousin sister /cousin cousin’s sisters, who will marry them if we let you marry that boy friend of yours who doesn’t even belong to our religion’ or the most common and the most pathetic one ‘What our relative and friends will say’ as if what they say means a world to you!!!
And what do we get in the end …people marrying as per their family’s will thus sacrificing there love, People getting married against there parents will thus sacrificing their families, Couples committing suicide as neither they can withstand family pressure nor they can live without each other thus sacrificing their valuable life and worst of all honor killing thus sacrificing on humanity!!
There are few lucky ones who are able to convince their families and thus they get married socially!!
Let’s repeat this again with our new school of thought. Two people meet, they interact, they get attracted but before plunging into love there’s a small matrix which needs to be analyzed. It’s more of a sanity and feasibility check. Its horizontal can be you and your family and its vertical can be the girl and her family. Do a SWOT!!
Don’t think about the obvious next step which is falling in love; think about two steps further about getting married. Are you socially and economically compatible? Can you weather the storm which is going to come ahead?
Is it asking for too much?
I know love is blind and people don’t think twice before falling in love but this little thought process can be used as a handy walking stick!!
As already said above that this is not an attempt to change the way you think. It's just an observation. As I look around me I still find people falling in love but in a calculated manner!!!!!!!
It’s a pity that I am asking you to hold back and think about your feelings rather than writing a big page on how to change the society but I do believe that things will change sooner or later and I am eagerly waiting for the day when we would be independent enough to take our decisions without succumbing to the pressure of our family and society.
I don’t want another US but I want a sensible India.
PS: By Chance or By Matrix do fall in love once …
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
From Grampians with Love
By luck I am founding my self in Melbourne, Australia and after having five usual days in office with some ‘Good to have face against name’ kind of stuff it was going to be an exciting weekend as I decided to take a two day tour of Great Ocean road and the Grampians National Park.
But there was more fun waiting for me before that, thanks to a colleague I got a chance to visit a local beer brewery on Friday evening and believe me it was one of the best beer I ever had in my life. Drinking Fresh beer just where beer is brewed and listening to some good blokes singing…what else can beat this?
As beer was quite smooth so even after having a substantial amount of it (read Jugs) I was awake on Saturday early morning to start my trip. It was a mix of nationalities with Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Germans, Singaporeans and our driver cum guide was a Dutch born and bought up in Australia having typical Australian sense of humor.
Great Ocean road is amongst the most scenic, rugged coastlines of the world and driving on the road is an experience which you cannot describe in words. It indeed was a good drive and we visited the famous twelve apostles (though our guide told us that there were only 10 apostles ever existed it’s just a phony name given to promote tourism...btw there are only 8 left now) and then there were few other famous structures like London Bridge and beaches. Need not to mention there were many clicks with “Yes, I was there” kind of poses around all these great structures.
From there we head towards Grampians national park as it was our night halt and we were told that we can expect Kangaroos during the journey. Our bus went slowly as there were chances that we might ran into Kangaroos which is very common is this part of the world. There were few instances where we need to slow down or even stop to let kangaroos cross the road. Finally we reached our destination and we were in a small town called Halls Gap which is located in the heart of the national park, with an average of 300 families and around 6000 beds for tourists.
After having my dinner I went outside to try my luck with kangaroos as our guide told us that they do come down from the forest , and there were instance where you can found them just outside your house , producing their typical sound. I was not disappointed as I saw a few but as it was very dark and I was a bit scared also. I called it a day and decided to see them tomorrow early morning.
I wake up around six next morning, it was drizzling a bit but when I went out the view was worth enough to compensate for an early rise. I was surrounded by mountains from all sides, lush green trees and a beautiful road. What a view!!! I went on the road still scared although our guide has told us that the kangaroos found here are small and not dangerous as Big Red kangaroos found in other part of the country.
Suddenly I saw a small kangaroo family (they are social animal, always found in groups) and I went close to them to get a good picture , but they ran away once I was in their comfort zone. Never mind as there were many jumping on their two legs making a great sight to view on a beautiful morning. Finally I was able to get few clicks with one being my favorite as the lad I was clicking didn’t move at all even though I went quite close suddenly I realized that the lad I was clicking was peeing !!
Then we started our trip to the national park. Few view points, a water fall and a walk inside the tropical forest were few things which we did before we started moving back to Melbourne. As the last stop of the tour we visited a wine brewery for some wine tasting. So there I was sipping glasses of white and red wine and I was happy as the journey which started with some great beer ended with some good wine.
PS: Photos would be uploaded soon once I am back as I forgot to bring the data cable for my cam :)
But there was more fun waiting for me before that, thanks to a colleague I got a chance to visit a local beer brewery on Friday evening and believe me it was one of the best beer I ever had in my life. Drinking Fresh beer just where beer is brewed and listening to some good blokes singing…what else can beat this?
As beer was quite smooth so even after having a substantial amount of it (read Jugs) I was awake on Saturday early morning to start my trip. It was a mix of nationalities with Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Germans, Singaporeans and our driver cum guide was a Dutch born and bought up in Australia having typical Australian sense of humor.
Great Ocean road is amongst the most scenic, rugged coastlines of the world and driving on the road is an experience which you cannot describe in words. It indeed was a good drive and we visited the famous twelve apostles (though our guide told us that there were only 10 apostles ever existed it’s just a phony name given to promote tourism...btw there are only 8 left now) and then there were few other famous structures like London Bridge and beaches. Need not to mention there were many clicks with “Yes, I was there” kind of poses around all these great structures.
From there we head towards Grampians national park as it was our night halt and we were told that we can expect Kangaroos during the journey. Our bus went slowly as there were chances that we might ran into Kangaroos which is very common is this part of the world. There were few instances where we need to slow down or even stop to let kangaroos cross the road. Finally we reached our destination and we were in a small town called Halls Gap which is located in the heart of the national park, with an average of 300 families and around 6000 beds for tourists.
After having my dinner I went outside to try my luck with kangaroos as our guide told us that they do come down from the forest , and there were instance where you can found them just outside your house , producing their typical sound. I was not disappointed as I saw a few but as it was very dark and I was a bit scared also. I called it a day and decided to see them tomorrow early morning.
I wake up around six next morning, it was drizzling a bit but when I went out the view was worth enough to compensate for an early rise. I was surrounded by mountains from all sides, lush green trees and a beautiful road. What a view!!! I went on the road still scared although our guide has told us that the kangaroos found here are small and not dangerous as Big Red kangaroos found in other part of the country.
Suddenly I saw a small kangaroo family (they are social animal, always found in groups) and I went close to them to get a good picture , but they ran away once I was in their comfort zone. Never mind as there were many jumping on their two legs making a great sight to view on a beautiful morning. Finally I was able to get few clicks with one being my favorite as the lad I was clicking didn’t move at all even though I went quite close suddenly I realized that the lad I was clicking was peeing !!
Then we started our trip to the national park. Few view points, a water fall and a walk inside the tropical forest were few things which we did before we started moving back to Melbourne. As the last stop of the tour we visited a wine brewery for some wine tasting. So there I was sipping glasses of white and red wine and I was happy as the journey which started with some great beer ended with some good wine.
PS: Photos would be uploaded soon once I am back as I forgot to bring the data cable for my cam :)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
GDC to B-52
I never realized the significance of Friday till I was in IT. The very mention of word “Friday” fills every one of us with some kind of unexplainable joy. GDC’s (Global Donkey Centre) of all the companies wears a deserted look as the sun sets in the west on Friday and all road leads to only one place…The BAR.
After being part of many of these Friday night boozing parties for years, I feel competent and credible enough to write something about these.
Venue of these parties usually changes are per the pocket of the host or all, if it is being equally split (which means you can be at loss sometimes, if you don’t drink much :) or you end up drinking too much just to stay at par with every one so that you don’t feel ripped off :)).
The range and depth of topic’s discussed during these lively parties can beat GD round of any of the B school by a long long way.
One of the most ‘Discussed’ topic during these parties is “Girls”…every single noticeable attribute of the subject is discussed (by subject I mean the “girl” under the scanner) along with a highly detailed split analysis of her nature, appearance and what not :). The person excusing in between to pick his GF’s phone is seen as the most pathetic soul on earth and is rewarded with best of the best abuses available on this earth.
Self appreciation comes second on the list of discussions. When ‘High’ few people speak so highly about their abilities in all the fields that you start feeling as if you’re a waste on earth. Discussions can sometimes turn into a bet with both parties wanting to prove their point in pursuit of which tools like Google or options like ‘Phone a friend’ are often used. Although nobody remembers in the morning what the point of discussion was :).
People do crazy stuff like push up, dancing in bare minimum cloths , making unwanted calls to Ex GF or Current GF which hurts the most in the morning apart from hangover as they don’t remember what they said or rather over said over the phone last night :).
But still it is fun to be a part of these parties as long as somebody is not vomiting along side you or over you.
PS: Still wondering what a B-52 is :) ..Well go to a good pub ask the bartender for it but please don’t curse me if it leaves a big hole in your pocket :)
After being part of many of these Friday night boozing parties for years, I feel competent and credible enough to write something about these.
Venue of these parties usually changes are per the pocket of the host or all, if it is being equally split (which means you can be at loss sometimes, if you don’t drink much :) or you end up drinking too much just to stay at par with every one so that you don’t feel ripped off :)).
The range and depth of topic’s discussed during these lively parties can beat GD round of any of the B school by a long long way.
One of the most ‘Discussed’ topic during these parties is “Girls”…every single noticeable attribute of the subject is discussed (by subject I mean the “girl” under the scanner) along with a highly detailed split analysis of her nature, appearance and what not :). The person excusing in between to pick his GF’s phone is seen as the most pathetic soul on earth and is rewarded with best of the best abuses available on this earth.
Self appreciation comes second on the list of discussions. When ‘High’ few people speak so highly about their abilities in all the fields that you start feeling as if you’re a waste on earth. Discussions can sometimes turn into a bet with both parties wanting to prove their point in pursuit of which tools like Google or options like ‘Phone a friend’ are often used. Although nobody remembers in the morning what the point of discussion was :).
People do crazy stuff like push up, dancing in bare minimum cloths , making unwanted calls to Ex GF or Current GF which hurts the most in the morning apart from hangover as they don’t remember what they said or rather over said over the phone last night :).
But still it is fun to be a part of these parties as long as somebody is not vomiting along side you or over you.
PS: Still wondering what a B-52 is :) ..Well go to a good pub ask the bartender for it but please don’t curse me if it leaves a big hole in your pocket :)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Something is always better than nothing
“Something is always better than nothing” is the adage with which I try to console my frustrated soul whenever life throws peanuts at me instead of rewarding me with jack fruit :).
I don’t even remember since when I have started finding solace in these lines and I am sure even God doesn’t remember also else I wouldn’t be writing this one…….
When I swing between feelings of ecstasy, euphoria and joy to sadness, agony and disgust .I try to find equilibrium using this phrase somewhere in between these two extremes of emotions.
I mean what’s the point in ruing for a lost opportunity think of what all life has given you apart from that.
We crib about lost opportunities, lost love, lost ventures and what not but we never try to realize that still we are better off than many ….Dude!!! At least you know what it like/feel being in love …look around there are so many who are clueless about love …..
Well your love life not going right is altogether a different issue :)
Every failure leaves you with at least experience about how things can go wrong if not anything. Things will fall in place later if not sooner. Till then try to make your self feel better by thinking that at least you have something which many don’t have and you are better off than many in many ways.
I am not asking you to concede to “Something is always better than nothing” ….that would be suicidal!!!That would be the end if you start feeling content at “Something” and not going for “Everything”. I am just asking you to console your self with this thought process if things are not going very right for you.
“All can’t be well” in life after all we have to live it and not to sail through it!!!
I don’t even remember since when I have started finding solace in these lines and I am sure even God doesn’t remember also else I wouldn’t be writing this one…….
When I swing between feelings of ecstasy, euphoria and joy to sadness, agony and disgust .I try to find equilibrium using this phrase somewhere in between these two extremes of emotions.
I mean what’s the point in ruing for a lost opportunity think of what all life has given you apart from that.
We crib about lost opportunities, lost love, lost ventures and what not but we never try to realize that still we are better off than many ….Dude!!! At least you know what it like/feel being in love …look around there are so many who are clueless about love …..
Well your love life not going right is altogether a different issue :)
Every failure leaves you with at least experience about how things can go wrong if not anything. Things will fall in place later if not sooner. Till then try to make your self feel better by thinking that at least you have something which many don’t have and you are better off than many in many ways.
I am not asking you to concede to “Something is always better than nothing” ….that would be suicidal!!!That would be the end if you start feeling content at “Something” and not going for “Everything”. I am just asking you to console your self with this thought process if things are not going very right for you.
“All can’t be well” in life after all we have to live it and not to sail through it!!!
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