‘Love by Chance’ or ‘Love by Matrix’

Disclaimer: This blog is not an attempt to change the way you think, I am not that good enough.

As I am growing old with my horizon expanding I am being exposed to a new school of thought about love which I would like to call as ‘Love by Matrix’. Though many of us are not aware of it but somewhere it is running in parallel with our good old ‘Love by Chance’ philosophy. And I certainly don’t think that it can surpass our conventional way of approaching love but I do feel that we have a strong contender in our hand given that we still live in a Caste & religion driven, economically divided and deeply narrow minded society.

I am assuming here that 99 percent of the people who are happily in love think marriage as the ultimate destination, so that they can live with the person whom they love for the rest of their life. Fair enough!!
For rest of the 1 percent it is more of an experience although I haven’t met even a single happy ‘Dedicated’ couple who just want to end their relationship only at love.

Let’s talk about our conventional approach towards love. In which two people meet, they interact, they get attracted and finally they fall in love. Simple, familiar, uncomplicated!! This is the way we fall in love in our life sometime ones, sometime twice, sometime many times!!

But the real problem starts when you try to convert this relationship of yours into marriage. ‘She doesn’t belong to our caste, how dare you’ or ‘Do you have any idea how much your monthly expense is and how much that guy earns’ or ‘What will happen to your sister/cousin sister /cousin cousin’s sisters, who will marry them if we let you marry that boy friend of yours who doesn’t even belong to our religion’ or the most common and the most pathetic one ‘What our relative and friends will say’ as if what they say means a world to you!!!

And what do we get in the end …people marrying as per their family’s will thus sacrificing there love, People getting married against there parents will thus sacrificing their families, Couples committing suicide as neither they can withstand family pressure nor they can live without each other thus sacrificing their valuable life and worst of all honor killing thus sacrificing on humanity!!
There are few lucky ones who are able to convince their families and thus they get married socially!!

Let’s repeat this again with our new school of thought. Two people meet, they interact, they get attracted but before plunging into love there’s a small matrix which needs to be analyzed. It’s more of a sanity and feasibility check. Its horizontal can be you and your family and its vertical can be the girl and her family. Do a SWOT!!
Don’t think about the obvious next step which is falling in love; think about two steps further about getting married. Are you socially and economically compatible? Can you weather the storm which is going to come ahead?
Is it asking for too much?

I know love is blind and people don’t think twice before falling in love but this little thought process can be used as a handy walking stick!!

As already said above that this is not an attempt to change the way you think. It's just an observation. As I look around me I still find people falling in love but in a calculated manner!!!!!!!

It’s a pity that I am asking you to hold back and think about your feelings rather than writing a big page on how to change the society but I do believe that things will change sooner or later and I am eagerly waiting for the day when we would be independent enough to take our decisions without succumbing to the pressure of our family and society.
I don’t want another US but I want a sensible India.

PS: By Chance or By Matrix do fall in love once …